Luck is for fools

There sure has been a lot of talk about zombies lately. Seems like people are just all about the apocalypse theories, and have been for quite some time. I remember in high school a friend telling me how the world was “definitely” going to end on new years 1999. Fucking Y2K bullshit was terribly over rated. For that matter, I heard about the fabulous Mayan Calendar myth back in high school as well. You really shouldn’t hold your breath waiting for that day unless you want to pass out and miss the climax, which of course, will be just another boring day.

It’s not as if I can’t see any use in day dreaming about disaster. In all likelihood the propensity to think such thoughts is either hard wired into our brains by evolution or cleverly placed there during our intelligent design. Such thinking does have certain advantages directly tied to our most important instinct, survival. If you spend just a little part of each day fantasying about rolling through L.A. with a .50 machine gun mounted on the back of your truck while you sweep the area for food and supplies, well, um, what I mean is always stay prepared.

Back in the 80’s I was always hearing about “the big one”. I wish I could turn that into a dick joke, maybe later. Anyway, my Grandma volunteered for the red cross and she made sure to remind us that a giant earthquake was very near on the horizon and that we should always have extra food and water around. My parents were mostly prepared. I think as my dad is versed in outdoor survival he wasn’t too concerned. There were videos we had to watch in school and constant get-under-your-desk drills in case the violent shaking brought the whole building down on our heads. I kind of miss all that. It gave me the false since of security that the authorities were prepared to handle any disaster. Funny thing, my  sixth grade teacher Mr. Shoup told us that one day a giant hurricane would come in and destroy the entire city of New Orleans. “Just a matter of time.” He said. Just a matter of time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do in a major disaster. It would likely involve getting my wife and kids to my parent’s house, because they are very well prepared for nearly any eventuality. I have many tools at our home in Berdo that would come in handy during a sudden collapse of the rule of law. Which is what I expect to accompany a major disaster. I believe though that even more important than having the right tools is having the right mind-set.

We recently acquired two dogs; a yellow lab and a boxer-pit bull-something else. My lady insisted that they need the expensive food. She went out and got Beniful, I guess cause it is mildly expensive and comes in a pretty bag. I tasted the stuff and it ain’t half bad. When it was my turn to buy dog food I went to Cardenas and bought some Maintain Chunks. Made in Utah with a simple bag and name, how could I resist? I even thought they tasted ok. Naturally, my lady had to replace them with the proper food, which she did right away. This gave us the fantastic opportunity to do a doggy taste test. I won.

My dad use to say that if things ever got really bad we would have to eat the dogs. I love those bitches so much, I think I’ll just eat the neighbors dogs first, and then if I have to, the neighbors.